November 2005

Feeling a tad as though there will be no end to the packing.

I have lots of stuff. Especially considering it’s only five years since we emptied and sold our flat and went off to live in our camper van. we kept very little…Zak had three (big) boxes of toys in storage, and Mark and I had one box each. Oh and the only other thing I had that didn’t fit in the camper was the caravan…not trying to pack that though.

I have huge amounts of clothes, mainly because in the last four years I’ve gone up and down between several sizes.

We’re lucky to have the things we need.

haven’t had a cigarette in three days.

too tired and busy most of the time to write anything much and I haven’t put a stroke on a picture.

That’s about it really..too scared to talk about the house in Brighton.


Go Gratitude

There is sooo much happening….we are packing, and have our hearts and deposit set on a little house in Brighton. ( though I dreamt of Edinburgh with some sadness last night)

And this morning go gratitude led me to new doors as well….It’s wonderful to see people following their Inspirations.

It gives me even more joy about Inspiral_Art….as I can see the links in the pictures I’ve been creating.

The universe is truly breathtaking.


I didn’t want to jinx myself, so haven’t talked about this before…but I just got the job of my dreams!

The staff team is amazing and in the process of setting up a small fostering unit for teenagers, with educational facilities on site as well as support in the community.

So I’m very excited, things are falling into place, Mark has an interview/assessment for a position with Amex on Monday night, and we’re starting to look in ernest for a place to live.

HUGE HUGE love and support from some amazing people is making this all possible so I’m feeling really blessed.

internet access is a rare thing at the moment though, so big love to you all from here and I’ll mail you all as soon as I can.xxxxxxxxxx

Things are going well, although I can’t imagine how or when I’ll get back to some degree of normality…when I’ll be able to spend time working on web-spaces, or producing the meditation cards…but it’s all good. Pete suggested (or instructed!) that I sit and spend twenty minutes each day specifically imagining everything working out how I want it to…I’m actually not sure what to imagine though. I know that’s how I came here and got this house, I was very clear about what I wanted. And I now realise it’s hard to concentrate on visualising going elsewhere using a technique suggested by someone I wish I had more time to spend exploring with here. hmmm

It’ll all work out.

OK, maybe I’ll take five for focusing now, but I do know that the next two days are full of ‘just keep going’ beginning to feel like a packing machine…Interview on Wednesday though! Excellent team and the beginning of an adventure of like minds and hearts I think, so I’m very excited about that one.


“Just because we increase the speed of information doesn’t mean we can increase the speed of decisions. Pondering, reflecting and ruminating are undervalued skills in our culture.” — Dale Dauten

Very tired and very happy…

I felt unsure going back down to Brighton, but having spent a day running around on the buses (where no-one talks to each other, or even smiles) and the trains, and seeing the Downs and bumping in to old friends, I feel much better about it. (I’ll talk and smile at people on the bus anyway.)

There are lots of dreams in the offing, and lots of loving relationships…we’re a strange generation, I find us creative and hopeful and more than a little lost for healthy relationship role models. 

Huge love  


It’s all good…finally realised that half the jitters I’ve been feeling since signing yesterday, are excitement and happiness. Yes taking risks, yes scary and worst feeling is the ‘bad bad mother monster’ lurking in the background waiting to pop out and say ‘told you so’.

Have been timely reminded that I’m being called back to dreaming and that my journey times are always that…the dreaming journey…

Freaking out.

Sometimes I feel I’m losing any grip on reality…but not ususally in quite such a practical sense.


I don’t know which way is up!…I don’t know which box to pack next, which room to do next, there is mess everywhere…I also have a job prospect coming up in Brighton so am leaving for there tomorrow for at least a couple of days. I’m starting to feel very wobbly about the whole lot! It’s because today I signed to swap council houses with my mum before I leave…so that’s it then, suddenly I feel I’m way behind schedule and going away for a holiday!

Oh and we’re ridiculously skint.

And I’m scared

And I’ve got so much stuff.

And I’m being a wuss.


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