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June 2008

17 years

We celebrated our seventeenth wedding anniversary yesterday…lovely lovely lovely day.

Hmmmn

This is the tree they had to cut down from our Garden.They cut it down while I was ill weekend before last…I’m not sure if I’m pleased to have been spared watching it happen, or sad not to have said goodbye.

Just Hmmmn

Home

one of my mum’s pics from home

There is something caught within beauty, as though it is trapped there, or I am trapped here, away from it. It silently sings and moves me with it’s stillness. The second I witness that something, I am home.

At the moment I am lucky, love and the summer have me open, home is everywhere and I can welcome people in constantly. Generosity comes from being home, authentic action comes from being home, and unconditional love springs abundantly from this space, clearing path after path to doors which had been blocked to me before. When I am home, the world is an easier place to live in, and sharing it with others is a doddle.

I am not home when things are too rushed, when I act as though there are more important things to attend to than my sense of peace and connectedness, when I allow myself to become one of my roles instead of fulfilling a role.

Both of these states are easily slipped into, but coming home takes a little mindful focus and it’s preciousness is balanced by the seeming un-importance of focusing in a dutiful life.

It’s a good thing life is so beautiful.

 I feel hungry at the moment, and suddenly I can feel the physical nature of hunger that is so like desire.

I react to this sensation with utter confusion…

If I’m this hungry in front of a menu, the fridge, store I am rendered almost completely unable to choose something to eat, my head is too swimmy and my energy too physcally high for me to concentrate.

That, unfortunately is also how I react when trying to get close to my desired one…it’s almost delicious, but thoroughly useless.

This is why people get drunk…i get it now…so not my style though.

I love it when everything is open, reasonably clear, and considerate of all involved…this comes from communication…brain freeze does not help with this.

I ask for intelligence and intelligibility when I need it.

and there she was gone

Just realising that the light in my workspace is only suitable for sketching…I need to work downstairs for anything finer…especially working with colour…still gives me time for tapping on the laptop.

Today isn’t officially a work time for me, but i’ve really not been getting much done recently…to busy getting involved in more physical aspects of life…as for blogging! I currently want it all to appear here so I can read it and enjoy it, but I have less time for writing it!

When I get on-line I want to be learning and reading and exploring, but I miss this too. I’ve been hopewitching as well, which means less writing here..

I think I’m off to write somewhere else now…about home, for Beth at The Vitual Tea House.

Big kiss

Home

one of my mum’s pics from home

There is something caught within beauty, as though it is trapped there, or I am trapped here, away from it. It silently sings and moves me with it’s stillness. The second I witness that something, I am home.

At the moment I am lucky, love and the summer have me open, home is everywhere and I can welcome people in constantly. Generosity comes from being home, authentic action comes from being home, and unconditional love springs abundantly from this space, clearing path after path to doors which had been blocked to me before. When I am home, the world is an easier place to live in, and sharing it with others is a doddle.

I am not home when things are too rushed, when I act as though there are more important things to attend to than my sense of peace and connectedness, when I allow myself to become one of my roles instead of fulfilling a role.

Both of these states are easily slipped into, but coming home takes a little mindful focus and it’s preciousness is balanced by the seeming un-importance of focusing in a dutiful life.

It’s a good thing life is so beautiful.

Clarity

Something in me opened further last night…and I poured out with such clarity…not tainted by emotion or any physical sensations of tiredness or attatchments of personal history… Just refreshing sweet clarity…vocally and physically. 

I flowed with no resistance whilst lucidly watching myself happen and unfold.

Something in me has seemed so clear the last few days, not in my head, but in my body…my body is my heroine today.

And talking with Mark last night was on a par with the physically ecstatic state we were blessed with.

Part of me is stunned at the possiblity of all these feelings, progress and awakening in the middle of child-riot-chaos-life…how can we transcend at the same time as cope?

I had been so lost to doubt.

I ask to stay focused
to stay true to my question
and to open as clearly in front of my other loves

Pink

Spending 48hrs in bed at the weekend seems to have done me an amazing amount of good!

I feel as though I’ve been reset. Quite sublimely reset.

And I’ve been given a little question to ask myself, It’s a simple little question, but the answers I have been finding in myself are subtle, complete and freeing.

2008 is a gracious year.

Big kisses and a Universe of Love.

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