We are self defined
So slowly
As we physically grow
That our mind
Thinks that there is organic stability
And systematic process
To who we are.

A cause
Perhaps a choice
A timeline
An outcome

But that’s just the small stuff
Increments small enough
growth seems organic.

Often, who we are
Jumps from one track  to another
No warning
No process

And sometimes it’s huge

We are no longer who we were

On reflection

When I change my mind about something

Encompass a wider perspective

A new idea

My mind tells me

That is growth.


Standing back from a mirror

Or as close as I can

Taking in more and more reflected horizon

Or scrutinising a detail

Renders nothing in the mirror


Meteor Strike

See them coming
Hot fast burning projectiles
Know the crippled spinning sobbing wreck they leave.

Watch weeping growth
Hot salt tears and labouring howls
that accompany
Painful tearing re-birth
Of new energy and realisations.

Weak and new-ing
Un-sure and grateful.

Meteors leave no wreckage

Just a ragged gaping hole.

In numb raw terrifying silence
Fleeting almost images of who I was
Occasionally try to surface
Find no anchor

In any reality

Asking to Surrender

Loving is not by choice
It just is
Process of being.
Process of life.

Sometimes I can choose to not fall
To not flow
As hard and fast as I might
By simply trusting that
All will be loved
And it is not always me to be that lover.

I remember when every witnessing of beauty or aching loneliness
Filled me with that particular pressure.

Sometimes, falling tears through me
Breaks the banks
I am rendered by its might
And open fully wide, trusting
All is being loved
That moment I am grateful lover.

Unrequited love gave me the tenderest gift
Of surrender to love rather than permission to.

Hafiz Says:

“Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly.
Let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you
As few human or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender.

My need of God

Any need of God
I witness in myself
Is my need for permission
To let this most delicate, deep and devine Love
Tear through
Break my banks.

Love’s fathomless surrender
Is this might.


Asking for surrender
Is like asking for freedom ❤


Sitting in this old shell
Absent to my whole self
Easily distracted
From all I am not feeling
Silence in my centre is scratchy and empty
and no guidance.

What what what is it I want to feel?
Not this knot
Not the knot in my forehead
Or the one in my side
Not the screaming, yelling energy in my arms and heart
Not these tears of absence grief

This I know is misdirection
This angry clawing is a smoke screen
…not a movement.
Just beyond it, behind it, in it
Is  light,  love

Sitting here as this cell
Light  shines
all things
Song  sings heart
and windowed wings
Silence in all noise brings. ❤


This beautiful bump is now a baby! ❤

So here we are
Now moving into
the Sisterhood of Motherhood! 🙂 ❤

#Baby Belly #Belly Painting #Baby Sister #Body Art

Baby Shower <3

Currently we are happily packing to visit my youngest sister for her first Baby Shower! My own youngest is 10 now (and my eldest 20!) and it has surprised me how exciting it is all over again.The same kind of unexpected experience as the moment I watched my other sister walk down the aisle. It really brings home to me why we celebrate and mark these times with ceremonies, swap stories, bring practical gifts and love, and connect with our families and our social tribes. This is where life is most real, where attention is focused on this little (and big) part of the journey itself.
I am doubly excited as I get to paint my beautiful sister too! This is the way I love to help women mark this time and celebrate their excitement and the wonder of their body’s incredible journey. :D:D:D
Hopefully I will get to share a pic or two next week, until then: 🙂

Found Draft

I fell so deeply in love
So Deeply into Beauty and Hope
Into the most delicious sensation
Of life in flowing roaring force
Through the heart of my self
singing again and again your name

To be illuminated
to see so clearly
into corners of possibility
into the tiny folded pieces of dreams
put away in a subtly empty world
Remembered and welcomed
in the safety.
Your face
Your Smile
Your voice
Is intoxicating

I am drunk with falling
into and into and into
You and us
Seeing Beauty at every lightly dizzying turn
becoming all the delight
every thought and sense
Your delicate and perfecting design
and I am grateful to see
Such Beauty

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