Oh my, it’s my last day at work…Although I have lots of pretty pictures in my imagination of what I can achieve with the time, and a lot of uneasy feelings of dread about failing to achieve anything and actually having made a mistake, I cannot know in advance how life will go from here.
It’s true of any moment in life, we can never truly predict what the next moment will bring, but we have all our ways of fooling ourselves into that false sense of predictability…but I like these big change days. Whether by my actions or another’s, I like when predictability fails.
I had fear based dreams last night, I was searching for something with the knowledge that i had cancer…Mind you that could well have been because I went to bed after watching House, followed by half of Bringing out the Dead…I was probably searching for an end to the film!
I’m drawing a lot, and am excited by the images coming out and the fact that I’m allowing myself the time and respect…I’m going to miss the challenge of work though, and perhaps even more the ‘audience’ of the working community…Not completely about myself being centre of attention even, but I have that three yr old sensation of pointing and excitedly saying “look” “look”. Who will I say that to?
Hmmm I’m going to have to learn to share that time with Zak…essentially he has no interest in the things I want to show him..and vice-versa. Good job he’s such an excellent teacher.
May today bring clean endings.
I wish happiness and peace for all my work friends.
May today also bring open beginnings.