The thing I want back
is the laughter…
From my time of feeling 
free and clear 
and understanding. 
From my time of seeing 
and hearing the patterns
And dreams…
From my knowledge that all
has a good side and bad side.
From my time of feeling more me.
I want the laughter. 
The universal,
Got the joke,
See the silliness,
Feel the loving, 
Know I’m forgiven,
Know there is nothing
The kind that made me look mad to others,
Yet felt like peace in my soul.