I am suddenly very aware that I am threatened. That I have been feeling under threat since moving back to the south of England, to it’s high cost of living, rents four times those of where I was, house prices easily four times as high and salaries really not so.
I felt threatened and uneasy, worried about providing for and protecting my family even before I found myself pregnant little more than a month after we moved here.
This fear has manifest itself in a lot of growling on my part…a lot of barking and snapping and trying to keep everything in line and under control at home…it has also raised a lot of hopeful dreams in me about community, sharing, gifting, sustainability and an opening up of us as human beings.
Those are my dreams, my wishful thinking…though I think I do it with quite a practical mind that sees these paths as logical helpful steps for us and those around us…I believe these doors are opening wide and full of amazing opportunities for growth and connection.
Guess what!?…I’m de-cluttering! Lol!!! What is it in me that makes me respond to threat of lack with such a strong sensation of paring down?
Mmmmm, Letting go I guess, needing space to allow change, having nothing left to be convinced I should be afraid of losing…what you are used to is just what you are used to.